Darla

I think I kind of lost myself again

What Do You Have To Say? - Music: My First Favorite Band
Darla
litlaur
What was the first band you became a fan of?
Oasis. "Champagne Supernova" is still one of my favorite songs.

name change help
Darla
litlaur
      I'm making this entry public because I want any help I can get. If you know anything about Georgia name change law, or can make sense of legalese, or know someone who can, please help.

      A legal name change is pretty much my only option to get the right name on my license. So I googled it and found a website where I can buy the documents and fill them out myself for $40, or I can pay $80 to have a paralegal do it. I'm opting for the first option, since there will be additional court costs, and, well, I can probably figure it out.

      Now my concern is whether this is legit or not. And I don't know about actually getting it processed and whatnot. Will the documents tell me what need to do, as far as taking it or sending it to court?

      I feel so lost and helpless, and all I want to do is fucking fly to Seattle without people at check-in thinking I'm a terrorist or something because the name on the ticket is different from the name on my ID...because they actually don't have common sense, detaining babies because their names are on a watch list...

(no subject)
Darla
litlaur
      I ended up with an A in that marketing class. You know, the one in which I missed a test, taught by a teacher who was impossible to contact outside class. I expected a C at best, but whatever. I'm happy that I got all As again. It won't happen again. Physics this semester.

      I guess that's a really good thing, but it only reminds me that I have to buy books this week with WHAT MONEY?!

      I hate that I don't get my refund until 2 weeks after school starts. I also hate that I haven't gotten paid for the last month I worked because no one who could sign my timesheet was ever there.

stolen from Dave because this is a must-read
Darla
litlaur
http://www.avolites.org.uk/jokes/tandem.htm

Tha Tandem Experiment

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"?
Well, here's a prime example offered by an English professor at an American University.

In-class Assignment for Wednesday
"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story.
The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story.
The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth.
Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent.
There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper.
The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca - last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.

almost, but not quite, entirely unlike teaCollapse )

Caught beneath the landslide
Darla
litlaur
Not that my journal is that interesting, but I don't fucking play around, so...

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Comment to be added.

For your entertainment...
Darla
litlaur
These came from the annual "Dark and Stormy Night" competition. Actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays:


1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

26. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

27. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

http://www.filmbuffs.net/bananana/

http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com

Do you have a towel?
Darla
litlaur
http://www.hitchhikermovie.com

and

http://www.douglasadams.se/movie

!!!

O Cheesesteak That is Not from Philly
Darla
litlaur
I wrote this while I was at work today...and eating lunch.
-
You might not be from Philly
But you sure are damn tasty
I'm grateful for the people
Who copy the ingenious Philedelphians
I will one day travel to Philly
To taste the greatness that inspired so many

Meat is better with melted cheese
And onions and mushrooms
Peppers only diminish your greatness
In my eyes...or mouth
Hot, juicy, and cheesy
It is teh goodness

*burp*
-
Gem of a poem, eh?

?

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